[i forget to] Remember to be astounded

Reading in Mark 6 just now, I came across the old familiar story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 with five loaves of bread and two fish. i read it through without taking any extra notice of it and then I came to the next event in the chapter where Jesus walks on the water to the boat where his disciples are at. As I was just casully reading along--which is so easy to do when reading the gospels and the stories you have heard your whole life, however miraculous and amazing they may be--verses 51 and 52 jumped out at me as if they were in bold print:

51 And he got into the boat with them, and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, 52 for they did not understand about the loaves but their hearts were hardened.

Their hearts were hardened. These men were Jesus' apostles. The twelve he had chosen out of all men to spend his three years of ministry on earth with him and then carry it on when he was gone from this world. And their hearts were hardened.

What does that mean exactly? I think that the disciples perhaps were used to Jesus. They had seen his miracles and while they could not explain them, they were no longer in awe of Jesus, the God-man. So when Jesus fed 5,000 men, plus women and children with five loaves of bread and two fish, the disciples didn't even respond in awe.

Sadly, this reminds me of myself every time I read these stories of Christ's miracles. I forget to be in awe because I have let my heart harden. Not in a way that I turn my back on God or anything like that--but possibly worse, I sit and read the freaking Word of God every day and am told of the A-mazing things Jesus did and more often than not, I read it like a storybook and the realization of God's indescribable power and awesomeness so often passes me by because I forget to be astounded.

So now, as I continue to read these gospels, I hope I see them in a different light--the way the disciples did after Jesus walked on water. I hope I don't forget to remember to be astounded.